by Surene Esterhuizen
Until a week or three ago I thought a catfish was … just a fish!!
The dictionary says the following:
catfish
noun:: catfish; plural noun: catfish; plural noun: catfishes
1. a freshwater or marine fish with barbels resembling whiskers round the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling.
2. another term for wolf fish.
verb: catfish; 3rd person present: catfishes; past tense: catfished; past participle: catfished; gerund or present participle: catfishing
1. fish for catfish. “with the Mississippi River far below its normal level, the catfishing kept getting better and better”
2. INFORMAL•US
lure (someone) into a relationship by means of a fictional online persona. “he was being catfished by a cruel prankster”
When I started reading up on it, I realised the term “catfish” can not even be properly defined. The catfishing industry is huge!! People use to do this type of thing for ages, but technology actually makes it a lot easier to be a cat fish nowadays.
A catfish can be someone impersonating someone else, i.e. taking on their identity by using their name and photos and trying to get into a relationship with someone or it is someone who is trying to get money from someone else. (More about real life male victims on future articles.)
A few weeks ago, I worked on a youth book where part of the theme was where the one person was conned out of money by someone who was a new friend and who told this old lady a story about his poor family and how he needs the money for his family and sending her photos of his wife and kids. Yes, that is catfishing! And it can happen off line as well.
Now, some of you know me and are probably wondering where did this all start? I have joined an online gaming group, ScrabbleGO, through my Facebook profile.
I enjoyed a few games, in between you might receive a private message, saying “Hi there”. Due to Covid-19 just about everybody in the world is in lockdown or self-isolation or something. That’s how the conversation continues. And if you are bored enough to let the conversation develop – the million-dollar question: Are you single? I had such a laugh on the ScrabbleGO Facebook page – plenty of ladies are moaning about the same thing: they want to play Scrabble and the guys are using it as a “dating site”! I haven’t seen any posts of guys moaning about women contacting them … maybe it gives their egos a good boost. I also wonder how many people are actually using their own photo as a profile picture?
Most of the time, I would cut a chat short quickly, because I play from 10 to 15 games at a time, and would rather concentrate on kicking my opponents butt. Once the chat was cut short, they wouldn’t invite you to a game again. No skin off my nose! But one of the chats with a so-called American working on rig somewhere in Istanbul took a bit longer as he was asking about South Africa, the economy, lockdown procures, etc. Until such time that he thought it was OK to ask me to buy him an Amazon voucher. I said, no sorry, my South African debit card doesn’t work on Amazon. (I know it does, I just purchased books a day or so before that. I might be an idiot to chat to a stranger, but I’m not that big an idiot to give my hard earned money away!) Then he was very helpful to let me know that I can then buy him 300 Bitcoin and that I can actually drive to Cape Town to buy it cash. Innocently I asked the value of the 300 Bitcoin … apparently something like R5700. For crying out loud! I can do the math to convert 300 Bitcoin to ZAR and that is far from R5700!
Anyway, I reported him to the ScrabbleGO community and up to this day they have done nothing and they keep on referring me to their privacy policy, which seems to protect the preparator better than it protects the innocent. I can still see this guy is online, and out of pure curiosity I wonder how many ladies he has caught with this?
So, now my internet investigation starts … far too much time on hands, yes! I know, all due to Covid-19!
There is actually an American TV series called The Catfish. It is really shocking when you see the lengths people can go as Catfish. It is also shocking to see how desperate people are for love and happiness and how far they will go for it!! I have watched some YouTube videos and are still sick of the things people do to other people and then they act as if they were the victims!! I mean, really, you insulted him / her by calling them catfish! FFS!!
Some girls and guys catfish their own partners to see if they will cheat!! I mean, really. How low can you really go!?
Off the internet, back home, I have started asking the question about people being Catfish victims who wants to share their stories. I had contact with three ladies so far: one of them actually met the guy and was in a relationship for almost 18 months! He was so believable!! Until one day she realised she can’t trust anything he tells her. Yes, that happens too! It could be your neighbours, somebody you know who is too shy to tell their story.
One of the most popular stories are that they are Drill Inspectors (always high ranked, being a boss) on an oil rig, wife has passed away and the poor bugger has a young child who now has to live with a nanny or some family member while he works offshore for six months or so at a time. Then they tell you how they cannot do any internet banking where they are, and that they need money for the child or something. And most women fall for this after lengthy online conversations.
The truth is … if they can contact you through any means that they need data for:
- Then they can do online banking.
- They can make video calls so that you can at least see who he is (9 out of 10 times their profile photo is not even their own).
And if this person is telling you that you are wrong, he is the only one who can proof that he is who he is. He can video call you, he can send you a photo of his passport and many other ways. Don’t let this poor innocent guy play the victim and mind games with you!
Be on the lookout for some articles on more about catfishing and some real-life stories on South African ladies being catfished … the ladies are sharing their stories in the hope that it will save someone the devastation and heartache they have to deal with.
Next article: Part 2 – How to spot a catfish